My SQL 'rap' Entry

Okay, I'll finally admit to doing it. Back in May, I entered a very funny contest hosted by Michelle Ufford (@sqlfool). The idea was to take SQL Server concepts and put them to the tune of a rap, or come up with something completely your own. Since my own musical writing ability is limited, to say the very least, I went with the more popular "Filk" method.

Here is my contest entry. Sing along if you like!


To the tune of Beyonce’s Single Ladies (the tune we love to hate!)


All the SQL Ladies
All the SQL Ladies
All the SQL Ladies
All the SQL Ladies
All the SQL Ladies
All the SQL Ladies

Now put your hands up
Up in the cube, server blew up
I'm runnin' my own little scripts
gotta find the fix get it online quick
before users start screaming
Kim-ber-ly Tripp and sql team
your ex-per-tise is sal-va-tion
cuz I profiled this, used DMVs
Now it's running smooth

[Chorus]
Cuz if you break it then we trace it and we will find it
If you break it then we trace it and we will find it
Don't be mad once we prove that you caused it
If you break it then we trace it and we will find it

wo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh x2

[Chorus]

Select * in the code, .net won't load
get it through to development team
acting up, better clean it up
I could care less what you think
I need no permission, I'm the admin
please close your every transaction
Cuz you had your turn
But now you gonna learn
Better read some Kalen Delaney

[Chorus]
wo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh x2
[Chorus]
wo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh x2

Don't forget the women of the PASS world
Kathi Kellenberger
our own sql fool, Michelle Ufford
Denise McInerney, Sharon Dooley
Here to educate and inspire me, Jessica Moss an MVP!
Program chair Lynda Rab
So index and defrag
Write it up for SQLMag
Amy Lewis, sing along!

All the SQL Ladies
All the SQL Ladies
All the SQL Ladies
All the SQL Ladies
All the SQL Ladies
All the SQL Ladies

Now put your hands up
wo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh x2
[Chorus]
[Chorus]
wo oh oh!